What is it like to work with a Shaman?

I went to see my Shaman. She has been holding space for me during this process. She listens to me with the nonjudgmental peace of an exquisitely wise owl. Sometimes when I look at her I can see her plumage through her skin. This time she did a soul retrieval for me, one of the many services your local Shaman has to offer. Soul retrieval is pretty profound stuff. She explained to me that in our lives, from the moment we are born, we experience traumas. Trauma can range from everything from feeling abandoned by your parents when they first left you with a babysitter, or getting lost in a shopping mall, to witnessing brutal torture, or being abused yourself. When a person experiences a traumatic event, sometimes the pain is too much to bare, so a little piece of that person’s soul fragments off and hides an a safe place within the womb of mother earth. Over the course of a life time a person may experience many events that cause this reactive fragmentation till eventually they are really operating on a much smaller soul. Soul retrieval allows the shaman to enter into the underworld, aided by their guides, and locate and gently coax back the little fragments to the original soul, giving that person wholeness. Before the reintegration can take place, however, there must be a rewrite of the contracts. Apparently, when the soul fragments off, we create a contract to help us negotiate sidestepping the pain from the trauma. It’s as if we make a sacrifice of our soul in exchange for not feeling pain, and the contract is the legal document that binds you. So, the shaman takes a look at those contracts as well and helps you to rewrite them. in addition to retrieving the fragments and helping to rewrite contracts, the shaman also gathers a gift for your soul to aid you in your new wholeness to help you keep your new contract. She asked me to think of it this way, each person has four chambers that she will visit, similar to the four chambers of the heart. Chamber one houses the trauma and memories or feelings about it. The second houses the contract, while the third is where the fragments are kept, and finally the fourth holds your gift from spirit. After she visits all four chambers, she will sit in a meadow space in the mythical unconscious and wait for my power animal. This animal will serve as a guide and a source of strength and is a key spiritual friend and constant companion.

Once I was clear on what was about to happen, her and I opened sacred space. A calling was made to the four directions, and to the sky and earth, requesting guidance, protection, power, stability and agility. Then the sacred work began. I had chosen a stone from her Mesa, or sacred table, and blew my essence into it. She used this, after assessing my chakras with a pendulum, to aid in clearing my base chakra before we began the retrieval. Then there was a rhythmic rattling. The shaman sat near my head and with her hand on my right shoulder, rattle to my left, she stepped into the underworld and approached my chambers. As I lay there, aside from some subtle energetic movement, I just felt relaxed. To keep my mind clear of worry or other escapist thoughts, I focused on my Reiki meditation, “Just for today be free of anger. Just for today be free of worry. Be kind to all beings. Work diligently. Be grateful.” I repeated this in my head and felt a deep sense of a trancelike meditation set in. At one point I felt her move to my right arm as she was very gently verbally coaxing some little thing to her. Was it a piece of my soul? “Come on, you are not welcome there any more. Its not safe for you there anymore. That’s right, come to the light. It’s ok. Come on,” She said, then, startlingly, sharply, she took in breath and moved to place a crystal in a little sack. Hmmm? I guess part of the process?

She settled down at my head again and continued her rattling for a while longer. When she was finished she squeezed my hand and related to me what had happened in there.

“Okay, so I went in to the underworld and met with my guide and he lead me to the first chamber, but I was not allowed in. I just was not allowed. So, I went to the second chamber and inside there was just a lamp, a leather chair, and a book. I opened the book and all it said was, “BE STILL.” When I went into the third chamber I walked through a rainbow light and there on the floor was a pot, like a pot of gold pot, but inside was the sweetest cutest little baby. A little cherub. It was so beautiful. But I could not take the baby. So I went to see what was in the fourth chamber, but found it empty. There were no gifts.”

Here she paused. I was a little worried.

“So, I went back and asked my guide what I should do, and he said that I must go back to the first door and see what was going on there. So, baby, I had to do an underworld extraction. You had a dark energy, like a curse, blocking that room. This is likely from a past life. In any case, I did the extraction and pulled the curse into my crystal and I will dispose of it. You are free of it now. Once I cleared that block, I was able to enter the first chamber, but it was completely empty, filled with nothing but bright light. I went ahead and vacuumed and dusted anyway to be sure, but now it is completely clear. Then I went in and gathered the baby and revisited the fourth chamber. This time I walked through this lavender light and saw this white feather floating over head, but that was not your gift, just a feather, and then I saw this beautiful necklace. At first I thought it was diamonds but as I looked closer I saw that it was made up of water droplets. So many of them. Clear shimmering water droplets, not tear drops, just cleansing water. I collected the necklace and then went up to meet your power animal, and there were three actually! At first there was a little mischievous, playful raccoon, then a beautiful multicolored tropical bird arrived with this long tail and all these big colorful feathers, then just as I was about to go, a pure white horse arrived and said to take him. He is your power animal.”

Wow. Okay. So, wow. What does all this mean?

“Well, now I am going to have you choose five stones from the mesa, one for each chamber and one for the horse. We will set them out and you will take each one in your hand and they will speak their messages to you.”

I chose the stones. A jagged black stone for the trauma chamber, a fossilized snail shell for the contract, a perfect circle stone for the baby, a turquoise nugget for the necklace and a larger fossilized shell like stone for my horse. I took the round stone in my hand first to get my message from the baby. I held it and closed my eyes. Hello baby, I am Christina. What do you want to tell me? Instantly I saw a precious little baby face making a silly expression and my mouth moved into a smile. Happiness flooded me. I smiled again and tears ripped through my eyelids. “I don’t hear any words! I just see this smiling little baby and I feel happy!” I managed to choke out over my emotions.

“That’s Okay baby! That is the baby’s message to you! In order for this little baby to come back to your soul it just wants you to be happy and give it a happy place to dwell.”

I chose the trauma stone next. Pretty quiet reaction. A scene from the movie the fifth Element flashed through my head and I saw Lelu pointing a gun at Corbin Dallas’s head and sternly stating “Ecto Gamit!” The priest translates to Corbin that ecto gamit means, not without my permission. That makes sense to me.

Now it was time to rewrite the contract. I held the snail like spiraled stone in my hand and at first saw a fire work spiraling which then turned to a tiny finger of ivy growing up and up and spiraling around in the air above it to try to find the next point on which to anchor to so it may spiral in growth around it and continue to climb. The shaman helped me translate this into a new written contract where I am dedicated to growth and that I reach in faith toward my growth in an ever upward motion. We would later burn this contract so that I would absorb it into my chamber.

Now the necklace. I held the turquoise chunk and envisioned a beautiful choker of cascading water droplets. I suddenly became aware of the ticking clock. With each tick I heard the words “ Speak, speak, speak, speak, speak.” Simple enough.

“Okay, do the power animal now.” I picked up the larger stone and sat and waited for my horse. It came to me, pure white, strong, powerful, and gentle. I reached out to it and it came right in toward me and nuzzled its forehead against mine. We were brushing our faces together and hooking our chins over each others shoulders. I knew this feeling. This is familiar. This feels so good, so right and so pure. Pure love. I looked into the horses eyes and I saw my love’s eyes blazing through me. Filled with love. I shuddered and burst again with emotion. I could barely get my words out. This horse was telling me the love will guide my way and give me strength. Not love from another, but the love I feel for another. Love so strong and so pure. So profound that it shakes the foundation of everything I have ever known. Love will guide me.